Raw, Real, but a love that is forever!

I caved.... I wrote to the lady that disrupted Jessa's adoption in 2011. A disruption, for those of you wondering, is when adoptive parents complete the process, travel to adopt a child, and choose to return home without that child. It places a "red flag" on a child's file and sometimes ruins their chances of ever being adopted again... It is sadly becoming all too common of an occurrence in China/International adoptions lately! Both of my Asian babies have been effected by disruptions!   I wanted to ask her if she had any videos, pictures, information, that could help piece my daughters life together a little better! I was not looking for information that would change my mind for my precious girl, it is impossible to break the bond of love that God has placed in this heart.  I just wanted more pictures of her as a baby.  So I nervously wrote this lady and was thankful with her quick response! She was elated to discover that this sweet child had a family, a real family, to love her! She was also very generous with what she had.  She sent me pictures, thumb drives, videos, all from my sweet girls past.  I was beyond words when Jason came home today with the package.  I, of course, had it sent to his work because I am a nervous Nelly like that!!!  I spent two hours watching videos, staring at pictures, and reading over old emails.  Those in particular did nothing but frustrate me.  I had to read them quickly and not spend much time dwelling over them.  The same reasons that these two families, yes there were two, turned their backs on this precious child, were some of the same reasons we were drawn to her.

Because this is my blog, I can be completely honest here! I firmly believe that our two adopted children are ours! We were meant to be there parents! PERIOD! We gave our commitment to these children in our letter of intent and after that there is no turning back.  Questions and doubts can happen and I would even go so far as to say they are normal - but just like indigestion, they go away! Time can heal, love can grow, and those questions turn into commitments, doubts turn into joy! I can speak from experience as I sat in a hotel room 8 months ago, with a little boy that kept head butting me, crying as he slept next to me, wondering what on earth I had done! But the bible says that His mercies are new every morning, and that next morning brought peace and more love!

I can't tell you how much I just want to shout out loud, my love for this little girl! I want to hold her in my arms and tell her that this love is real, this love is forever, this love is divine! I hope that she does not remember any of those vapors of her past.  I am thankful for this lady, because she kept these files in hopes that one day she could share them with a family.  I am also thankful that "all things work together for good" - Romans 8:28.  It may seem strange to some of you reading this that I feel that way, but I do.  I understand that we do not live in a perfect world and that things happen out of our control. I hate that she had to endure them, but I know she was meant for our family.  Sometimes when I sit and think about dates in her past, I get sad! We were not ready to be Jessa's parents in 2010 or 2011.  God was at work in our lives, and although I don't think for a second that her disruptions were part of HIS plan, he allowed them to happen.  Without a doubt, He had a better plan for her all along. Sometimes it takes the storms in this life to bring the sunshine!  I love the verse, in a song by Laura Story,

                          "What if my greatest disappointments or the achings of this life   

                             is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?

What if trials of this life the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are your mercies in disguise?

  

Adoption is a beautiful, beautiful, thing! The redemption of a child's life is the most precious event that one person can experience in their time on this earth! Humbled that He has allowed us to be a part of his kingdom this side of heaven!

F-I-R-S-T

Jackzhen has been home for almost 8 months and we have witnessed many of his "firsts".  I was able to capture a few of them last week during Thanksgiving and Christmas tree festivites....  Love this little boy ♥

Time for an update...

I am sorry that my blog has been very quiet lately! I have been happily swamped with life, school, kids, co-op, soccer, school, kids, school, oh sorry - focus Mandy! hehe I wouldn't trade this busy bee feeling for anything in the world, but unfortunately my time spent blogging has been neglected!

So here is the condensed version of our process this far.... We finished up our paperwork in October.  We were officialy DTC on 11/13/12, PRAISE THE LORD!!! Our LID is 11/21/12, a day before my birthday and a HUGE answer to prayer!!!  So, we are officially awaitng our LOA! PHEW what a process all of that was, believe me you got the short and sweet version!!!  That brings me to where we are today, day 9 of our wait!  I am sure if you are reading this and are not familiar with the international adoption world, you are wondering what all of these abbreviations are?!?!  The LOA stands for letter of acceptance.  It is our "big" China approval.  With Jackzhen's adoption the LOA took 89 days! It was a long brutal wait! I am selfishly hoping that God has different plans this time OR changes our hearts as we wait! Either way we know that His ways far exceed ours, and we are very content with that!!! Afterall, Jackzhen is still in his first year of being home.  Although he has made amazing leaps and bounds with bonding and language, he will benefit even more with a few more months of one on one time! Sooo I am content with whatever He may have in store for us!!! So ya'll neat people remind me of this blog post on day 40!!! okay??? :)

Well that is about it for tonight, I am tired!!!
Please pray for that LOA to come smoothly and easily, please also pray for Jessa's safety and warmth during these next few winter months!

Thanks everyone xo

Mandy

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us...........

In our last adoption we were driven and motivated by God's word through Matthew West's, Bigger Picture. So it seems only fitting that God would speak to us again through a song, this time it is Side Walk Prophets. Their song, Nothings Gonna Stop Us, is right on target to how our heart has evolved through adoption, as well as the assurity that through a close relationship with Him,  God plans our paths in life. The lyrics are taken right from God's word and one of my favorite verses in the song exemplifies that,

He has called you, to all the places you'll go 

He's the author of every dream that you hold- 

Proverbs 16:9 says In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

What peace that verse brought me as we started this process again! Was it the right time? Was it really God's will and not mine?  -but I am told that HE determines our steps and that has been a huge peace for my soul - I woudn't want it any other way...

 

But the best part of the song is the chorus!

Romans 8:31 says If God is for us, who can be against us?

 We know all too well what a spiritual warfare we are entering when we open our hearts to adopt a child.  The enemy hates adoption because it is a visual representation of the gospel. It is laying down your life and the life you knew, to give new life and hope to a child. It is something that the enemy wants nothing to do with! He attacks from every angle during the process, and even after! Jesus laid down his life, so that we could live. Through our faith in his life, death, and resurrection, we can have eternity in heaven. The enemy hates this act of love! But the words in Romans say that when God is with us, nothing can stand against us - NOTHING!

 

We are standing firm on God's word through this process and thanks to this AWESOME song, we are jamming out to God's words as well!

 

Keep the faith

♥ Mandy

 

Every journey needs a first step to start

Every fire grows from a single spark
A great symphony begins with just one note
One voice can give the whole world hope
There's no impossible, nothing we can't face
The tallest mountains are moved by a seed of faith
Come together, don't you know that you're not alone

Chorus
We will rise up
For the kingdom come
Lay down our lives
For the sake of love
If God's with us
We know that
Nothing's gonna stop us
Nothing's gonna stop us

He has called you, to all the places you'll go
He's the author of every dream that you hold
Come together, don't you know that the time is now
The time is now

Chorus

We will, rise up
for the kingdom come
Lay down, our lives
For the sake of love
If God's with us
we know that
Nothing's gonna stop us

No height, no depth
Could ever keep us from the love of God, I know, I know
No life, no death
Could ever separate us from the love of God, I'm sure

"our bigger picture just got even BIGGER"...

Soooooo I am over the moon excited to share this blog post and it is definitely way over due.... I will just get straight to the point and you can continue to read the long drawn out story if you want too!!!
WE ARE ADOPTING AGAIN!!!! YES, FROM CHINA!!!!!

 

In June, I started discussing the idea of one more child with Jason.  I was just so amazed at how quickly and effortlessly Jackzhen had fit right into our family.  I found myself day dreaming about one more, sweet, little child.  I had that same desires that I did before Jackzhen, those that divinly told me there was one more child that was meant to be an Aldrich! So after a long chain of events, Jason's heart being opened to another child, we decided that in January we would move forward with another special needs adoption from China! Yes, I am well aware that this is only September! But as I learned with Jackzhen's adoption, there are times that you think you know, and then realize you were totally off!  There is verse in Proverbs that says, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." This verse totally came to my mind when I saw a video, August 14th, of a sweet little girl who needed a momma and daddy to love her!

I had been looking at posts on an advocacy page that I am a part of.  I came across this video of this 3 year old girl.  The wording at the bottom of the video said something like, watch this and you'll be amazed! So, I obliged! I remember thinking, she is so sweet! I wonder when her birthday is? So I emailed a friend and asked her that very question! She wrote back quickly and said 10-25-08.  That meant she was 7 weeks younger than Jackzhen! But that didn't stop my wheels!!! I started processing the idea of having another child that close in age.  I immediately thought about the birth order and how this adorable little one didn't change anything, she would compliment it nicely! I was growing quickly excited about the thought of having "virtual twins!" - but I was also wrestling with the fact that Jason and I agreed to wait until January to review files! But right then, the phone rang! It was my favorite Bug (my term of endearment for my sweet husband).  As usual, he asked what I was doing.  I told him that I was trying to concentrate but that I couldn't get a darling little face out of my head.  I explained to him that there was this video, she was 7 weeks younger than Jackzhen, and before I could get much more out, Jason said, "I will look at the video when I get home!" I happily grinned!!! YOU WILL? I asked to be sure!!! I didn't push or nudge, he wanted to see the file and I was elated to say the least! Well, that was Tuesday, the day we locked her file! We prayed, talked, talked, prayed, and Thursday we wrote our letter of intent to China! I was so excited!!!!! We had agreed not to tell anyone for a week or two.  After all, that is how long it takes to get a pre-approval from China.  HOWEVER, when my God is in something - HE is in it completely! We got our pre-approval from China in 24 hours, ONE day!!!! My agency worker called me at 9am on Friday morning, which I might add is 6am for her, (I LOVE KELSEY MELVIN haha).  She said, "You're never going to guess what I have!!" I said, "Shut up!!!" HA - (SHE LOVES ME TOO).  It was our pre-approval, amazingly, divinely, quick to say the least! The pre-approval is the first document in the long list of documents from China.  It locks a child's file indefinitely and approves the family to more forward with the adoption! Well that was August 15th! I immediately called our social worker to let her know we needed a new homestudy! She is an amazing lady herself and on September 14th, I had 4 notarized copies of my homestudy in my hand to mail out to my agency! I am blessed beyond measure to be working with such amazing women, yet again, that have a heart for these children, my child, and want to work as hard as me to unite her with her FOREVER family! Soooo that is it in a nutshell!!! We are going back to China!!!

NOW, on to the fun stuff!!!!! Here is the video of our sweet daughter

Jessa Zhao Mae Aldrich 

 

And here are a few pictures of the sweet face that I can't wait to love!

I hope you will journey with us again through our blog!

To answer a couple of common questions....

 

Yes the kids are thrilled about Jessa!

Yes we are ALL going to travel to China again!

We are reusing our dossier!
We hope to travel again in the Spring (but that is relative of course)!

 

GOD is good and our bigger picture just got even BIGGER!!!! - Thrilled about that xo

Mandy...........

 



His "first" birthday celebration!

Jackzhen turned 4 on the 4th and we decided months ago to celebrate in a BIG way! What better way to celebrate big then at DISNEY WORLD! We took our little guy to the Magic Kingdom for 3 days.  It was a perfect way to make memories as a family.  He thoroughly enjoyed the park, rides, characters, (except EYORE, HA).  I say he liked the rides, but what I must add is that he didn't care for It's a Small World! Yes, folks you read that right! We took him on Thunder Mountain twice, but he had no interest in a second time of puppets starring, without blinking, singing a song over and over and over and over,  again!!!!!!!!!!!  I guess after writing that description, I kind of get it now! :)

He has made so much progress over these past 5 months home.  He speaks so clearly and understands 90% of what we say.  He has favorite toys and TV shows.  He loves his Diego place mat, which he gets before every meal, along with his favorite chair.  He obsesses over Cheerios for breakfast and chicken for every other meal! I love watching a new part of him unfold every day. 
Another aspect of Jackzhen is his occupational therapy, which we attend once a week.  He has mastered 4 out of 12 steps in his arm strength, in just three months.  The therapist is very pleased with his progress and sees no reason why he won't have more use of his arm one day!

This stuff sounds great and normal, right? That is what I think most days.  Then there are days when I sit back and reflect on his life.  I remember how he spent three years of his life in an orphanage and trapped under the same routine of life.  I think about how in a whirlwind, one April morning, his life as he knew it changed completely.  That in itself is enough to send the average person on shut down for a while, but not Jackzhen! He has never shed a tear for the life he knew, he has never looked back! I am amazed! There is a healthy side of grieving, it helps you move on and adjust to the new.  I am not saying that Jackzhen has never grieved, he just didn't do it in a typical way.  People that want to hear Jackzhen's story ask me the question, "how did he adjust so well?" I tell them his story and then I am very quick to inform them that his adjustment is not typical! I love that I can share with them how prayer works! We covered our process, for 9 long months, in prayer.  We prayed daily that Jackzhen would know us, like us, and bond with us.  We prayed that he would dream about us at night and that he would have love during the day by those around him.  We prayed for that little boy a minimum of 5 times a day, and I am thrilled to share, GOD HEARD OUR PRAYERS!  He really is a gift to us and we couldn't be more elated to share the rest of his life with him!

Jackzhen's favorite thing to say is a quote from his favorite show, Kai Lan.  He says "Jackzhen looooooooves ___________" and then he inserts whatever is on his mind! It brings tears to my eyes when he fills my name in that blank!  He often says Jackzhen looooooooooves a momma! And I love you too little boy, forever, to the moon and back, forever!

 

 

 



First for Everything

A few of Jackzhen's firsts captured by my cell phone! His first; road trip, ice cream cone, trip to the ducks, rays game, adjustment, waterfall, and bowling adventure..... Happy Wednesday y'all!!!

I believe in Miracles! ! !

We have been to Jackzhen's pediatric neurologist two times since he has been home.  Both times he has told me news that would probably shake the average person, but each time I have chosen to find the blessings instead of fear.  I haven't shared Jackzhen's original diagnosis with everyone because I didn't want it to define him.  But I think I have gotten over that outlook and I realize now that there is way too much evidence of God's hand in his life, not to share. In China, Jackzhen was given the diagnosis of hypo-evolutism of his left arm.  This is a Chinese diagnosis for "slow growth", however, his arm was no smaller than his right, he just didn't use it.  Although we didn't a clear picture of what we were dealing with, through faith, we committed our hearts to him.  We got videos and pictures over the course of our wait that showed his left leg was a little stiff and not as ambulatory as his right. We never blinked about it, we were ready to love on him and eventually get him the care he needed! While in country, and physically with Jackzhen, we could better so his need.  I started researching his left side weakness and found what most trained eyes could see just by meeting him. It appeared he had hemiplegia, but really,  what did I know!  SO, now we fast forward to June of 2012 and our first appointment with the pedi neurologist.  He looked over Jackzhen's minimal medical history, did an evaluation of his arm, and said "he has Cerebral Palsy!" YEP you read that right, he has CP! It was one of those moments in life where you can choose to fall down, think how, what, oh no!!! OR you can be still and remember that a bigger God knew about this all along! So, that is what I did! On the way home I thought about how many files I, sadly, overlooked because of a diagnosis like Cerebral Palsy.  I didn't know what it meant, how difficult it would be to handle with three other children at home, so thanks to fear it wasn't a special need we were willing to consider. But for whatever reason, that wasn't Jackzhen's diagnosis in China.  This in itself is ironic because they have no problem slapping a CP diagnosis on children  they consider to have it.  But God knew my fear and he knew Jackzhen was meant for us! So I firmly believe THAT is why he wasn't diagnosed in country.  Although odd to some, I was joy filled that He would prepare a child so perfectly for our family, despite my ignorance.  I was ready to take this bull by the horns and move forward with therapy. In a short, CP is a result of nerve damage to the brain.  It is not a disease that get worse with time.  Through therapy, and youth, new path ways can be formed in the brain to retrain limbs how to work. And in two months of therapy, I can see how effective it is.  Here is a quick blurb I found about CP:  

Cerebral palsy (say: seh-ree-brel pawl-zee) is a condition that affects thousands of babies and children each year. It is not contagious, which means you can't catch it from anyone who has it. The word cerebral means having to do with the brain. The word palsy means a weakness or problem in the way a person moves or positions his or her body. About one in every 1,000 infants develops cerebral palsy. It is slightly more prevalent among low birth weight babies. Upwards of 10 percent of cerebral palsy cases may be due to events during labor and delivery.

Obviously the cause of Jackzhen's brain injury will always be a mystery to us. As a momma, this is a hard pill to swallow! I can't tell you how desperately I want to know the how, why, and when.  But I do trust that in the big picture of Jackzhen's life, it doesn't matter.  This is where he was meant to be! 

Sooo that was two months ago! Now we come to yesterday, our second appointment with the Neurologist. He had requested that Jackzhen have an MRI of his brain to see where this possible stroke occurred.  When the doctor came in the room to go over the results, he seemed a little puzzled. He told me that the MRI showed nerve damage to the right side of his brain, like we thought it would.  He asked me the same questions he did before about Jackzhen's intelligence, abilities, etc.  I reminded him that he runs, jumps, swims, climbs stairs, knows over 100 words in English and understands 90% of what we say *in just 4 months*. He again watched as he threw a ball, kicked a ball, and ran down the hallway.  He told me that he just wanted to see him back in a year to keep a relationship with Jackzhen!  There were no further tests needed, just his therapy to help his hand.  It was a good appointment.  As I walked to the receptionist,  I remembered I needed a little more information for Jason.  I wanted to be able to tell him the size of the nerve damage.  So I asked Dr. Casadonte for a measurement.  He looked me in the eyes and said firmly, the damage nearly covers the entire right side of his brain! "WHAT? I GASPED, "HOW, HOW CAN THIS BE? " I said.  He can do all of these things, he is so healthy, and capable! He literally shook his head and said "I don't know!" "I will get you a copy of the report!" As he walked down the hallway, I  of course welled up with tears! This child is a walking miracle! He is amazing! How can you have nerve damage to half of your brain and still be so perfect!!! When the doctor came back, he showed me the report. He was still shaking his head, he had no words!!! 

As we left his office I could have down a cart wheel down the hallway! I was so amazed at the power of God's hand, when modern medicine says it doesn't make sense!  I want everyone who reads this to know that there are no chances in life, there is no luck, there is only a bigger God that is writing a bigger story for each of us! Even in the storms of life, He is there.  He never said that this road would be easy, He only said we wouldn't go alone!  I stand firm on that promise daily.  This adoption has definitely stretched me and grown me in so many ways and I am thankful that my faith has been made stronger through it all.  

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Adoption RoCkS!!!

Every day is a blessing with this little guy!!!

Lesson for today....

Jackzhen's lesson for today was that it is okay to share! He was eating cheese bunny crackers (my small attempt at healthy eating because it is made with whole wheat flour, however costs two dollars more a box, I can't win) but he was enjoying them none the less! That was until big sister Jillian came along looking for some! Jackzhen quickly pushed her hand away and said "no take crackers!" It was what happened next that brought sadness to this mamas heart! He started shoving the crackers in his mouth by the handful! I know that this can be a normal tendency of any three year old that feels fear of losing his snack, but unfortunately we immediately have to wonder if this is a result of the life he use to know! I, of course, stepped in to say "it's okay!!" "There is no need to shovel them in your mouth! It's okay to share because mommy has more!" I then dumped half the box (not really remember the two dollars?) out on the counter in front of him, he yelled "WHOA!!!!!" I smiled at his cute little face :)

Its okay little one because as long as I am your mama, I will make sure there is always more (even if we have to buy the fish kind that are two dollars less a box!!!)

Mandy....

He is SUCH a Trooper!

This month we visited Shriners Hospital in Tampa.  I knew nothing about Shriners before this month, other than the visual image of the men that wear really neat hats and collect money for the hospital in front of the grocery store occasionally! So going to Shriners was a whole new world for me, but OH MY WORD, was I blown away.  The hospital is filled with people that love their jobs, love children, and genuinely want to help you! At our Orthopedic appointment we met with a physician's assistant that evaluated Jackzhen.  She sent us for an x-ray, a consult with therapy, and had him fitted for an ankle brace to promote his flexibility in his left ankle, and all of this was done right then and there during our first appointment, WOW!  He is such a trooper! He was fine meeting new people, being molded and mushed, tested, and talked to! We have since been back to Shriners for his Occupational Therapy.  It is worth the 40 minute drive to Tampa because I really like the connection Jackzhen has with Zhu-shee his occupational therapist.  She is very kind, gentle, and thorough in her approach to therapy. 

At our appointment this week, Jackzhen was fitted with a constraint cast.  This is a cast that goes on his good arm, his right one, in order to make the left hand do all of the work! I was excited about doing this type of therapy because Jackzhen is SO adamant about using his right hand.  He had the cast on for about an hour, when we went to lunch.  That is when I had my first good cry! It was the hardest thing in the world to see him struggle, although I had to remember that it is so hard because he has never done it before, so it will get easier. He was never given the chance to receive this type of therapy at the orphanage.  I did not leave his side and, together, made it through lunch.  It has gotten a little better now that we have completed our second day with the cast, but there are times when he gets frustrated.  If I could see what he was thinking in the cute little coconut of his, it would go something like this, "oh no that stupid thing is still on my arm!!!"

Like I said I was excited about the casting and I still am, I just now see why they were so inquisitive about my feelings to the constraint! That is because it is 100% a job for me too!!! BUT I really couldn't be more thrilled that I get to teach him how to use his hand to eat, cover his mouth when he sneezes, go to the bathroom, drink from a cup, the list could go on and on! I know it sounds crazy and you are probably thinking, "Mandy, how on earth can you be excited about such task when you have three other monkey's to tend to, a stud muffin of a husband that needs your attention, a house that needs cleaning, and laundry that needs love?" so I will answer that for you now - I JUST LOVE THIS KID! I adore that he calls me momma, tells me to be safe when he leaves my room, plays with my hair, kisses my face, tells me I am so silly! I want nothing more than to show him LOVE! I would not back down from any need that ANY of my kids need, regardless of how big, and my Jackzhen falls right in that category!

We will continue the casting for a few weeks and then give him a break.  We have already seen small progress in his flexibility just in the first 2 days.  I can't wait to see what happens in the next two weeks! 

Already a Month!!!

It has been a month since we have been home and I can not believe how quickly it has gone. We have gone from a cot on the floor of mama and baba's bedroom, crying every 3-4 hours, to sleeping in our own big boy bed all the way upstairs, with happiness, and 10 hours of sleep! I could go on and on about other progressions that we have seen this month, but I am going to keep this one short.  I want to get back in the swing of blogging my thoughts, so I thought it best to keep this one simple so that I don't get discouraged (happens easily to me, ha) 
So here goes a "quick" rundown of our month- Jackzhen knows almost 50 words, speaks in sentences, eats anything we put in front of him, loves bananas, gives kisses and "sorry" when he hurts someone, finally likes our dog Maggie, doesn't mind sitting on our "American" toilet, loves loud music, he is an amazing dancer, adores the pool, reminds us to pray at dinner when we forget, he says "No Thank You!" instead of hitting (most of the time), doesn't like ice cream, still LOVES his black dress shoes, repeats new words 10 times as if to remind himself how to say them, only speaks to us in the Mandarin words he knows we know, amazed by Mickey Mouse and Ni Hao Kai-lan, loves wrestle time with baba, and snuggle time with mama, he is all around a neat kid, and we couldn't have planned this deep bonding ourselves, God is good all the time!  

And I will close this post with a funny from this morning! I taught Jackzhen that the mouse is a "computer mouse" because he has a good understanding of a "squeak squeak mouse" and I didn't want to confuse him.  This morning as I sat down to journal my thoughts and edit dance pictures he walked over, tapped the mouse, and said "Computer Mickey Mouse" -  I said, "yes Jackzhen, exactly!"