Reflecting...

This year, 2012, has changed our lives! I say that honestly, not meant as a cheesy cliche.  We were led half way around the world to a little boy, who couldn't have been made any more perfect for this family! He is silly, helpful, thoughtful, kind, willing, and now that I have puffed our family up to be completely awesome- I will also say he mirrors us in the area of impatience and messiness too.  But in complete contrast to the latter, he is the biggest blessing to our family this entire year! I watched Jackzhen's adoption video again tonight as I reflected on this year and thought it would be a neat time to share it here again with all of you! God is good, we are the beneficiaries of his goodness, and Jackzhen is our reward......

 

And they're off.....

Our signed LOA is on its way back to China and our I-800 process is officially underway! Those documents are off to the lock box in Texas.  The form I-800 is our Petition to "Classify Convention Adoptee as an Immediate Relative", thank you cut and paste! It was a New Years miracle that they made it in today's mail! So relieved....  Now we are off to make confetti to ring in this new year with 4 of our 5 kiddos ♥ Bring on 2013..........

Wasabi

One of our favorite restaurants is Wasabi! It is a Japanese restaurant that is owned and run by a bunch of super kind Chinese people!!! I love going in there, because they always forget who I am and I can tell them our story again! They love Jackzhen and love to hear about Jessa.  In a strange way it makes me feel a little closer to our girl and they are just neat people who serve really good food! We thought it was the perfect place to celebrate our LOA.  I can't wait to bring my Jessa Zhao Mae there for the first time! I am sure she will rock the chopsticks better than any of us can dream!
Love you baby girl................

Quack Quack....

It was a good day.  The kids, my mom, and I had lunch at our favorite little cafe, The Rising Sun, in Brooksville.  We visited a local farmer for our veggies before heading home.  The kids were jamming to Toby Mac, as I attempted to have a conversation with my mom.  That is when I heard the DUCK QUACK!!!! My heart started beating VERY fast as I looked for my phone! The duck quack is a special ring that I have set for my agency and social worker, Kelsey!!! I was hoping that she wasn't just calling me to ask where I got my favorite boots ;)  In the 6 seconds that it took me to answer the phone I thought, "surely it can't be her saying that she has my LOA, it is only day 38, but it is 4 weeks since we were out of translation, and that is the time frame that it could be!"......... All of that and "watch the road Mandy, you are driving!!!".  The first thing out of her mouth was, quack quack! Very funny Kelsey. :) She then continued on with, "guess what I got in the mail???".  I screamed - SERIOUSLY???".  I was completely taken back by the phone call! I was hoping it would come sooner than normal because last time we waited a grueling 89 days.  It was torture!!! But now that it actually did come early, I could not be still or let alone BREATHE!!!!  Kelsey is the neatest social worker in the WORLD - she seriously has a heart for her families and these children that she places and advocates for! I just adore her.  She is also exceptionally awesome because she let me scream in her ear, for 5 minutes!

The LOA is the big approval from China.  It is the long "doozie of a wait", that makes every adoptive parent go a little stir crazy! If you look to the right of the blog you can see our timeline! It also shows you how quickly we went from LOA to travel during Jackzhen's adoption! It is about 2-2.5 months away now! I can't believe it! So many things are running through this brain.  Normal things like, we need another car seat,  she needs a bed, do we have enough clothes for this princess??? Then panicky things like, we have to find some toddler carriers because we are bringing 5 kids to China, (YES WE ARE NUTS!!!) I have to focus completely on SCHOOL, I have to find the right unit study for the great wall, OH MY...................  I wouldn't trade this chaos running through my mind for anything - It was my dream to start the new year with an LOA and my prayers have been answered!

2013 is going to be an amazing year! I can't wait to get started on it!!!! 

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :) :) 

We are coming Jessa - we are COMING!!!! ♥

Our moment of sharing the LOA news with daddy! Love his response of "that is crazy!!! I have to start saving, don't buy any food!!!"  hahahaha :)

LOA

Pictures from the big news! One step closer Jessa baby, we love you xoxox

All These Kids....

Jackzhen is obsessed with crosses! That child can make a cross out of any two perpendicular lines, I just love his abstract mind! Every time we see one, I remind him that the cross stands for Jesus dying on the cross so that we can have heaven! It is just a simple answer in order to plant the seed! Tonight before bed, he was admiring the Christmas tree in the boys room! He grabbed a cross ornament and said, "look momma this is a cross, where Jesus died, so we can go to heaven!" I smiled a big smile and said, "yes Jackzhen!!! Mommy asked Jesus into her heart and one day she will go to heaven, I am SO excited about that!". Before I could even finish my sentence, he looks at me with his "Jackzhen-like excitement" and says, "me too, lets pray momma!!!".  So we prayed and thanked Jesus for dying for our sins and asked that God would continue to water the seed that was planted in Jackzhen's heart.  We thanked God for loving Jackzhen and giving him to us, Amen! I told him that it was his turn to pray.  Thinking that he would probably just pray for his usual, mommy and daddy, the kids, for jessa, and to please keep him safe, we proceeded.  Now here is where the reason for this particular blog entry happened!!! He seriously leaves me in wonderment almost daily!

Dear God, for mommy and daddy, and thank you for Jesus dying on the cross so we can go to heaven, and thank you for the cross and the cross, and thank you for the cross, and for "all these kids" AMEN!

I often pray in front of Jackzhen and say, "thank you Lord for letting me be the mommy to all of these kids!".  Jackzhen likes to quote that line most days, I don't think he knows he is one "of these kids" :)  After his prayer, I of course started crying! He just starred at me! Poor kid still isn't use to how often this mommy's eyes water!!! He then said, "it is your turn to pray mommy, no crying mommy, just pray!" So I did! I thanked God for this amazing boy, that has been through so much, yet continues to persevere as if he has been in this family since day one! I thanked God for letting me parent such a neat kid! I have said it before, but I can.not.wait to see what God has in store for my Jackzhen.  He is so intelligent, inquisitive, thoughtful, and just plan neat!

Raw, Real, but a love that is forever!

I caved.... I wrote to the lady that disrupted Jessa's adoption in 2011. A disruption, for those of you wondering, is when adoptive parents complete the process, travel to adopt a child, and choose to return home without that child. It places a "red flag" on a child's file and sometimes ruins their chances of ever being adopted again... It is sadly becoming all too common of an occurrence in China/International adoptions lately! Both of my Asian babies have been effected by disruptions!   I wanted to ask her if she had any videos, pictures, information, that could help piece my daughters life together a little better! I was not looking for information that would change my mind for my precious girl, it is impossible to break the bond of love that God has placed in this heart.  I just wanted more pictures of her as a baby.  So I nervously wrote this lady and was thankful with her quick response! She was elated to discover that this sweet child had a family, a real family, to love her! She was also very generous with what she had.  She sent me pictures, thumb drives, videos, all from my sweet girls past.  I was beyond words when Jason came home today with the package.  I, of course, had it sent to his work because I am a nervous Nelly like that!!!  I spent two hours watching videos, staring at pictures, and reading over old emails.  Those in particular did nothing but frustrate me.  I had to read them quickly and not spend much time dwelling over them.  The same reasons that these two families, yes there were two, turned their backs on this precious child, were some of the same reasons we were drawn to her.

Because this is my blog, I can be completely honest here! I firmly believe that our two adopted children are ours! We were meant to be there parents! PERIOD! We gave our commitment to these children in our letter of intent and after that there is no turning back.  Questions and doubts can happen and I would even go so far as to say they are normal - but just like indigestion, they go away! Time can heal, love can grow, and those questions turn into commitments, doubts turn into joy! I can speak from experience as I sat in a hotel room 8 months ago, with a little boy that kept head butting me, crying as he slept next to me, wondering what on earth I had done! But the bible says that His mercies are new every morning, and that next morning brought peace and more love!

I can't tell you how much I just want to shout out loud, my love for this little girl! I want to hold her in my arms and tell her that this love is real, this love is forever, this love is divine! I hope that she does not remember any of those vapors of her past.  I am thankful for this lady, because she kept these files in hopes that one day she could share them with a family.  I am also thankful that "all things work together for good" - Romans 8:28.  It may seem strange to some of you reading this that I feel that way, but I do.  I understand that we do not live in a perfect world and that things happen out of our control. I hate that she had to endure them, but I know she was meant for our family.  Sometimes when I sit and think about dates in her past, I get sad! We were not ready to be Jessa's parents in 2010 or 2011.  God was at work in our lives, and although I don't think for a second that her disruptions were part of HIS plan, he allowed them to happen.  Without a doubt, He had a better plan for her all along. Sometimes it takes the storms in this life to bring the sunshine!  I love the verse, in a song by Laura Story,

                          "What if my greatest disappointments or the achings of this life   

                             is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?

What if trials of this life the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are your mercies in disguise?

  

Adoption is a beautiful, beautiful, thing! The redemption of a child's life is the most precious event that one person can experience in their time on this earth! Humbled that He has allowed us to be a part of his kingdom this side of heaven!